SOLITARY CREEP

A heaviness i never knew i bear now with a smile,
i'm scared not death not those sympathetic stares,
but loneliness am i the creep i wrote of,
am i another poem a word but forgotten,
tired of lies that i believed, of hopes i foretold,
a solitary creep his cigarettes and theories,
an old man reclined on a chair of regrets,
too tired to run too proud to weep,
sometimes i wished for a rigid hallucination,
me and my dreams all my wants finally content,
i see the mirages painted on my walls,
accusing me subtly for the beauty i witheld,
i wish u were here wasnt i always there,
but u stay stuck in my tears and all my songs,
hate me for the lies but what about all the smiles,
the coffee the conversation the roses the stares,
all scribbled onto a postid stuck in my heart,
but forgotten i am and all that i was,
now just another ghost on the boulevard of regrets,
this too shall pass an optimism no longer mine,
no more hopes nor dreams just fears and a million tears,
just a tombstone floating careless in an ocean,
carved into it a fading epitaph,
"halfway up the stairway to heaven,
he turned around and shed his last tear,
for a life misled for the world he'd miss,
but mostly for you & your lips he'd never kiss........"